Alex Gorman

Good afternoon. Welcome to so many friends from around the world and Australia.

At the outset I want to thank those who worked so tirelessly on the Study Plan Committee

Penny Sturrock, Patrice Beirne, Josehpine Barcelon and Mary Brennan provided constant advice and support. I also want to thank Trish and Vicki who patiently waited while this gathering evolved in our imagination.

I want to start by dedicating this report to Caroline Anderson one of our reconciliation group leaders from Western N.S.W. who tragically died last year weeks after giving birth to her 3rd child Digby.

Caroline was the first person to volunteer to run a group and to me she personified the Australian spirit of reconciliation.

She became friendly with a young Aboriginal mother who lived nearby helping her with a range of problems, inviting her children to play and generally caring for her. After Caroline died the family of this woman came into Carolines' parents house to pay their respects something which is rarely done in Aboriginal culture. Before Caroline's funeral, members of the Aboriginal community mowed the lawns of her family and washed their cars. They prepared food and joined the family at the wake. At the funeral they stood outside the church in silence a statement about the power of small acts of kindness to those in need.

 

It is a priviledge for me to report on the work you have done over the last 3 years on the theme of reconciliation.The aim of the study programme was to deepen your love and understanding of self, God, and others through a journey of reconciliation. Your response to this call has been enthusiastic comprehensive and produced a high quality of excellent written material. In providing an overview, I am aware that I cannot do justice to any one country so I apologise.

Your work on reconciliation was the fruit of a seed sown at the 1994 General Chapter of the Society of the Sacred Heart which inspired all of us to "nurture life by education to reconciliation"

 

I am most grateful to those who led the discussions-both alumna and RSCJ. Their skill in bringing the study plan to life as well as creating a safe place to share was obvious in the reports.

I can still hear Caroline's voice over the sound of children in the background; She would ring before every session to discuss another activity that might inspire her group.

It was common to find between 3 and 9 groups forming in any one country.

Many groups based their discussions on biblical references such as the story of Emmaus or the Prodigal Son while others read diversely from a range of books.

While some members were tentative at the start, most came to enjoy a special trust and openness which developed over time in their groups. One woman said "To my surprise I spoke openly and frankly with my partner trusting that she would not abuse my confidences and feeling the relief in a story shared." It was in the sharing of deep personal stories that led to greater understanding and acceptance of self and others.It seems that in the space provided by the group perspectives changed and judgements dropped. Reassurance and peace arose from feeling a connection to them.

The spirit of God definitely moved through these groups. There were tears anger confusion laughter but definitely movement. In my group a woman spoke of being reconciled to the church by sharing the pain she had experienced in the past. She felt healed and would now return to Mass.We were amazed-a simple gesture of listening produced such far reaching results.

We are reminded of St. Madeleine Sophie's words "An Alumna can not save herself alone. Only for one girl's soul I would have founded the Sacred Heart Society"

 

DISCUSSION/STUDY GROUP RESPONSES

What did the word reconciliation mean to alumna?

For the Italians, reconciliation meant the meeting of God and man, and the revelation of God's mission for the salvation of all mankind.

The Colombians said that reconciliation spoke of humility, tolerance, openness, union with the other, respecting, listening, generosity and compassion.

The Polish said that reconciliation between peoples was difficult if great pain had been experienced. "We have a difficult process to forgive neighbouring countries for political captivity throughout the 19th century, followed by five years of Nazi occupation and lastly 50 years under the Communist system imposed by the Soviets with the complicity of the victorious powers at the end of the Second World War. A true reconciliation will come with time."

For the Japanese the task of discussing reconciliation with self and God seemed quite challenging since the word God does not mean the one God of Christian countries. Catholicism makes up only 0.4% of the population in Japan, and less than 20% of Sacred Heart alumnae. I am sorry that our study programme was not more culturally sensitive. Despite expecting difficulties the Japanese alumna participated enthusiastically.

For the Japanese and many other groups reconciliation involves a respect for the truth of all religions. Inspiration came from the Dalai Lama's book The Good Heart where it states that reconciliation comes when each of us live faithfully to her own religion while respecting the religion of others.

It was interesting to note that many groups enjoyed the readings and practices of other faith traditions.

 

 

RECONCILIATION WITH MYSELF

There was agreement between all groups that personal reconciliation began with the need to accept and forgive ourselves for who we are at every level of our lives. This is not easy as we all carry life pain in some form. But it is through a process of self acceptance that we begin to look upon others with greater kindness and compassion. The Spanish group said "This acceptance will give me peace and joy…then I can give peace and joy to others."

So how do we see ourselves in terms of our health social status position and responsibilities?

The age group responding included women mostly over the age of 40.

Some stated that they were very comfortable being the age they were. They spoke of the wisdom, awareness and understanding that comes with being a certain age. They believe they are more philosophical, appreciate life and enjoy the company of accumulated friends. They also reflected on a greater honesty within themselves and a contentment that comes with maturity. They seemed to appreciate all they had been given including their children.

Others spoke of the health problems of aging- illness and incapacity. Many shared the difficulties of coming to terms with the body they now live with in societies which value youth, beauty and outward appearance. But some were more concerned with the spiritual life within, rather than outward appearances. "Nowadays when I look in the mirror I see myself heavier than I was as a younger woman, more wrinkled and carrying ugly cellulite. But in my core I've stopped worrying. My spiritual journey and who I am seems far more important A large number of alumna spoke about the moral obligation to give back to the community as they felt grateful for the gift of their Sacred Heart education and privileged social background. Some alumna spoke of wanting greater collaboration with the society and their work while others felt a great desire to offer service.

Across all countries women reflected on attempting to reconcile the competing demands and sometimes unrealistic expectations placed on them by work, family or community responsibilities. They spoke of feeling guilty that they could never do enough as well as the challenge of finding time for self. One comment struck me very profoundly. An Australian woman said "some responsibilities we have, limit us from being the person we would like to be" In reflecting on their lives, many participants lamented the loss of simplicity and connection to life and self because of the pace of modern living. One woman seemed to sum up the feeling we all have for reconciliation with the self "I feel a deep need to sit quietly and get connected with my heart, myself and my sense of being".

 

Others spoke desperately about living with current political circumstances Carolina Branger wrote from Venezuela: "My dear friend, I am witnessing a world that is disappearing. My plans for re-opening the school are on standby. The lands we were planning to buy were taken from the owners...In this political context where people are struggling in their own lives, it was difficult to bring people together to discuss reconciliation".

 

 

RECONCILIATION WITH GOD

Many participants commented on the changing view of God since Vatican II. They remembered an old image of God from their childhood as angry, judgmental and stern. In considering a new image Bishop Weisner, President of the Council of Canadian Bishops, who helped lead the Vancouver discussion group, stated that "Jesus revealed God to be tender and compassionate." The Italians add that "God is love holiness grace mercy peace consolation light joy and justice."

But some groups, especially those from war torn or poverty stricken countries, where suffering was widespread, found these circumstances distanced them from God.

They, like so many others, failed to comprehend a God of love allowing such human tragedy.

The Belgian group stated that to reconcile with God we must, like the Prodigal son, turn away from sin and practice the commandments by loving God and others.

The Melbourne group point out that the way to the living and loving God is firstly through our hearts and then through our minds. To be authentically Christian therefore requires that our hearts be open and continually transformed.

The German group state that "We are all made in the image and likeness of God" The essence of our life exists in our journey to realise this likeness through our interaction with the world and through a process of constant discernment and change. Reconciliation comes when we begin to ask "How is God guiding me?" nudging me? and "What does God want from me now? "

The Brazilians and the Spanish came to a similar conclusion stating that "there was a need to allow a space in ourselves where God might live and be manifested"

Distance from God was created by our tendency to belittle ourselves and hold God in awe.This distance was outlined in Bishop Weisner's discussions with the Canadian group. We see ourselves as not good enough -as not deserving of God's love. Therefore we tend to choose too little of God. But we are reminded that "God loves us despite our brokeness."

"Broken clouds give rain; broken soil gives crops, God uses broken things, particularly broken persons."

Writing to Madeleine Sohpie St. Philippine Duchesne said, "I carry in my heart a great fear of spoiling things wherever I may be and this is because of some words I think I heard in the depths of my heart. 'You are destined to please me not so much by success as by failure'".

In reflecting on ways to a closer relationship with God most groups noted reading God's word, prayer, reflection, meditation, time spent in nature and with beauty, receiving the sacraments and service to others.

I am most indebted to the Brisbane group for their work based on Ignatian spiritual practices. I have their daily questions for reflection in the drawer next to my bed.

It was not uncommon to find that God was very close at times of people's greatest joys and deepest sorrows. For me the last 18 months have seen some of the darkest days of my life. During that time God spoke to me in so many different ways he couldn't be ignored-I stumbled on a book by Henri Nouwen, I came across a prayer instructing patience, a friend gave me soup by a warm fire, family were everywhere and I kept hearing a strong message- "stay close to God- do not worry".

 

RECONCILIATION WITH FAMILY

Family was seen as the place from where we draw strength and well being as well as the place to practice the communication needed to relate lovingly towards others. But family was also a place where hurt and pain reside.The Koreans spoke of conflict in their families due to older generation's Confucian orientated ideas clashing with the more liberal western ideas of their children. Some parents believed that these influences had led to children pursuing too much freedom which led to mischief.

The Spanish spoke of the special role that women and mothers have in nurturing the spiritual life within families.

Some groups spoke of the problems that arise in the reconciliation of marital relationships due to poor communication a lack of affection or verbal and physical abuse.

Releasing resentments from the past and forgiveness of others were important to the Mexican group.

The Louisiana group generally summed up the skills necessary for positive relationships when they stated "How we listen to others, treat them, are aware of their needs, listen to their opinions, especially when they differ from our own, and our ability to be with one another in times of crisis all become part of the reconciliation process.

There is a wonderful and sad story of family reconciliation from NZ. During the study programme a alumna recounted the ongoing pain she felt at not having spoken to her brother for 20 years. This is part of the poem she wrote

 

There's a bruised and torn limb

on my family tree

When will he come home

and make friends with me?

 

He has to know

that my heart is open.

He's always welcome and

I build my hope in, reconciliation

on his returning.

For the fire of love there is always left burning.

 

I was told that indeed a reconciliation between brother and sister did take place and 2 weeks later the brother died suddenly.

Perhaps this is a message to all of us to go home and make peace where it's needed.

 

RECONCILIATION WITH COMMUNITY AND COUNTRY

In every country there were issues that needed to be reconciled. For some, these issues were overwhelming and highlighted the huge difference in problems faced by the west and those from the poorest countries.

In the Congo they write with a very genuine sense of grief about the huge problems which exist in their country. "Today, our country is in chaos, its GDP is among the lowest on the planet; with war, misery, poverty, destruction, illnesses, lack of educational and health infrastructure.

Reconciliation requires an enormous collective effort to end the war through dialogue and commence a process of reconstruction. "We need the help of God himself"

.

The year 2000 saw the re-unification of families from North and South Korea.

The challenge for the Koreans to reconcile after so much separation hurt and anguish will require enormous efforts from the whole country.

Even within our own association there has been a need to focus on reconciliation.

For the Alumna of Uraguay the need to reconcile within the Sacred Heart family has seen this group struggle to overcome a rift which occurred between the alumna group and the RSCJ when the Sacred Heart schools closed in Montevideo.

They say "today we realise that our first step must be to join with the nuns in their new work with the poor and the needy."

Reconciliation with the environment was a concern for many groups but expressed most strongly by the Japanese who state they have become aware of many environmental problems such as global warming, genetically modified foods and ozone layer depletion.

The group were not prepared to wait for political or industrial action so each resolved to make changes in their daily lives; to avoid purchasing unnecessary things, to convert garbage to fertiliser reduce water and electricity use and limit city driving.

 

PROJECTS

It is impossible to mention all the wonderful projects which Alumna have undertaken.

I have read of so many programmes that have been sustained by the generousity of alumna.

I hope the walkabout has given you the opportunity to see a range of activities and also inspire you to action.

But perhaps this example typifies the kind of awakenings many of you had over the last 3 years of our reconciliation journey. I want to discuss a small project which was undertaken by a very diligent group of women meeting here in Lane Cove where we are now. This group met over 18 times to explore the territory of reconciliation.

The dilemna of the refugees held in detention captured their hearts.

With great uncertainty they began attending Mass at with the detainees as this was the only way they could gain access to the Villawood centre. They began to meet the refugees hear their stories and reflect on the practice of keeping people who were not criminals behind barbed wire for indefinate periods.

At this time they met Ali an unaccompanied teenager from Afghanistan who had been persecuted by the Taliban.

His brother had disappeared his family home looted so he fled to hide in the mountains.

He had survived the trip to Australia spent 2 years in detention in central Australia before coming to Villawood.

Since arriving his hopes were fading that a tribunal would hear his case.

Ali worked for 10 hours each day in the kitchen but at night he could not sleep so the group gave him a radio to pass the night hours.

Ali was lucky, a lawyer listened and understood.

He is now living with a caring family in Sydney and has managed to contact his family who are safe in Pakistan.

Many of the group were changed by the experience of visiting the refugees.

Reflection on this experience has led the group to believe that the first step to social reconciliation involves listening with compassion to the stories of the group who are suffering.

They also believe that it takes such simple actions and words to experience reconciliation: the challenge lies in how patiently we are all prepared to continue to offer these simple acts of love.

 

 

So in summary I want to leave you with several impressions

Though you come from different cultural backgrounds you share a bond of common values from your Sacred Heart education.

You carry this education as a flame to light your way in life.

The values you live by lead you to generousity in friendship and action where you see injustice.But I hear very strongly that you also want to know how and where you can help.

Your hearts are open to the pain and suffering and joy of others stories but you also know your own story and have been courageous in sharing this.

You have gained knowledge experience and wisdom and I feel you are each a little further down the path of reconciliation.

 

Finally I want to say, that I came to know you as women of great faith and spirituality and I saw the harvest of a seed well sown and that has been a great privilege.

Thankyou